Reminiscing Through Poetry

Forever Lost

Dark. Gray. Cold.
I am falling. Falling out of
existence. I can not go on.
They won't accept me.
I am lost. Forever Lost.

No one knows. How can they
see one that is a fly. A
stupid fly that buzzes
around. I sense darkness.
Musty mist fills my nose.
I am lost. Forever lost.

The pain from their evil laughs
fill my soul. They cut me.
They make my crimson blood
spill. There is no truth.
No point to search for life.
I am lost. Forever lost.

Wait. Unless mine eyes
play tricks on me. I
see a light. Hope. Love.
I see the sun.
I am not lost. Forever lost.

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I wrote that poem for an English assignment in 2006, my senior year of high school. I was going through a dark time in my life and I sat down the morning that the poem was due and wrote that within ten minutes. "Forever Lost" still gets a mixed review from me. In the classroom, I had my friend read aloud my work. I was so nervous. And I had good reason to be. Silence ensued the reading. I don't know what for. Was it my random stroke of genius which allowed the words to flow from my mind to the paper so well? All I did was title the poem and turn it in. I don't know but I do know I was inspired to put pen to paper and let my mind tell me what I needed to know. Over the past couple years I have found myself drawn back to "Forever Lost." Reading tonight the lined paper on which the poem was written brought tears to my eyes. How can one mediocre poem have such a deep meaning to my life? What does it mean?