Guess What?

I have no idea. lol.

I applied for a job at the University of Utah. If I get this job it will be really nice. And Dad will be happy. As he says it is a real career job. I still want to finish my degree sometime but he is right. If I do good I could really help them out and get great benefits. But since it is a "real career job" I have to fight for it, which something I have never really done. I have just been handed my jobs in the past. I has been nice but I guess that's why they never lasted. Some were temporary and some I just hated. This one seems like it will be really fun.

On Sunday I like to listen to the Dave Koz radio show. Last night I turned on the radio at 10 pm and the show was just ending! I was so annoyed! That station never has it on at the same time. I really like listening to Dave because he is funny and he talks to other jazz artists on the show. Grrr...it makes me mad that the times are never consistent.

I decided to create a photo album site and put my photos there. I'll still post them here but I might have more than I really want to post. I don't know exactly how I want to set it up. Right now there is nothing in the album because I am still trying to decide. I think I'll sub categorize the photos by months (for generic photos) and major events (like concerts and such). There is a link to the right but like I said before it isn't really ready yet. Sometime this week I'll make sure it is up to date. I'll probably start with June 2008 and not have the Ten Tenors concert or anything else.

Thoughts

I don't know why but I have been in a really depressive state of mind as of late. I think it is because I don't have a job therefore I don't have anything to do. I like to be busy and my days are not very busy right now. I try to fill them by doing something but nothing truly useful comes out of it. I have been taking pictures whenever the mood hits me to go shoot. But that urge doesn't hit me very often because I'm always here at the house. I have photographed everything interesting here. I was going to go hiking with my ward yesterday but company came over. I am trying to be more outgoing which is proving to be very difficult. I don't know how long this transformation is going to take me but I am consciously working on it. I am working on making myself more confident. I am reading A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen which is helping me to be aware of what I say. I haven't officially started the 21-day challenge, and I don't know if I ever will, but it is making me think. And when ever I feel like I really have no friends or just need to lose myself I head over to Friends of Josh Groban. The Grobanites always make me feel loved. *big hug to you all* Also, I feel like I am never going to be married and have children. I know first I have to get a boyfriend, thus I am working on my confidence. But, really, can I just ramble on for a moment? I was born three months early weighing in at 2lb 4oz. Mom was, still is, petite like me. I am scared that I won't be able to carry my babies for a full term. My brothers and I were all early, although I was the earliest by far. I just don't know what will happen. I want a baby so bad. I want three kids, at least. And I want a baby girl. How am I going to be able to have my baby girl if I can't carry her? Just tell me everything will turn out okay. Please, let me believe that I will someday be a mother. I want to hold my little baby to me and rock her to sleep. I want to see her learn how to walk and talk. I want to hug her and kiss her and let her know how much I love her. I want children and I am afraid that my body won't let me. I sure hope that this feeling of hopelessness goes away!

a really good mood

I am in a really good mood. I have no idea why. It might be because I am listening to Renee Olstead's website. I love her voice. It is so free and fun. I am going to go and get her 'Skylark' CD sometime soon. I also am going to get William Joseph's 'Beyond' CD. I really like that one. Both CDs came out this month. Goodness, David really knows how to do great music. Anything he does I love. Um ... that's David Foster if you're confused.

I was thinking this past week about my David Foster songbook. And I really don't think it is going to go anywhere this year. I have no money to buy the sheet music. And it is impossible to find Skylark sheet music. (David Foster's band was called Skylark.) So if anyone knows any good websites for free, or really cheap, sheet music please tell me. I have looked at Musicnotes.com and they seem to be the one I might use. But when I print them out at the bottom right hand corner it says something like, "Sheet music for the use of Krysta only." I don't really want anything like that on it. I want the music! Oh, well. If I don't think of anything better I might have to live with it. But they don't have Skylark music so it doesn't really matter!

I took some pictures yesterday because I had my camera and was bored. I got some interesting shots. I was at the grocery store with Dad and there was an American flag across the street. I got some really cool shots of Old Glory.

Modern Times

‘Modern Times’ is a silent film by Charlie Chaplin. Well, it’s not entirely silent but still considered a silent film. The film premiered in February of 1936. I knew of it because of the song ‘Smile’. It is a well-recognized theme from the movie. I found ‘Modern Times’ at the library and had to get it. I watched it and loved it. It was clean fun. Chaplin did a great job directing this comedy. He composed the music too. I think it really enhances the movie. But I guess it has to … the music is the voice of the movie. The music is serious when called for and “laughs” with the comedy. That’s what made the movie … the comedy of Charlie Chaplin and the syncopation of simple melodies. I love it!

If you want to learn more about Charlie Chaplin go here.

U.S. Open Golf

I never thought I would sit down and watch a golf tournament but I did. The U.S. Open was played this last week. The final round was Sunday, as it always is, at Torrey Pines. Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate were tied after the 72nd hole, which is a regulation game, both with -1. Therefore, they had to do a playoff today. They had to do the 18 hole course all over again. At the end of that playoff it was still a tie. They went to a sudden death playoff. They travelled back to hole 7 where we finally got a victor. Tiger Woods won his 14th Major Golf Tournament. I was on the edge of my seat a few times. Tiger's knee hurt him I think. He wasn't playing as well as he should have been. Here are two websites if you want to catch up on the highlights:

NBC Sports

USGA U.S. Open 2008

Relaxation Techniques

I googled sleep relaxation just to see if there were any simple tips to relaxing and I found this. The University of Maryland Medical Center has some relaxation techniques. They seem to be very simple. Maybe I'll try some. Well, actually I already have. Here is the website. And here is the article:

Relaxation techniques often can help people with sleep problems get a good night's sleep. Several relaxation techniques are listed below.

Progressive Relaxation
This technique is often most useful when you tape the instructions beforehand. You can tape these instructions, reading them slowly and leaving a short pause after each one.

• Lie on your back, close your eyes.
• Feel your feet. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and sink into the bed. Start with your toes and progress to your ankles.
• Feel your knees. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
• Feel you upper legs and thighs. Feel their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
• Feel your abdomen and chest. Sense your breathing. Consciously will them to relax. Deepen your breathing slightly and feel your abdomen and chest sink into the bed.
• Feel your buttocks. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
• Feel your hands. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
• Feel your upper arms. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
• Feel your shoulders. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
• Feel your neck. Sense its weight. Consciously relax it and feel it sink into the bed.
• Feel your head and skull. Sense its weight. Consciously relax it and feel it sink into the bed.
• Feel your mouth and jaw. Consciously relax them. Pay particular attention to your jaw muscles and unclench them if you need to. Feel your mouth and jaw relax and sink into the bed.
• Feel your eyes. Sense if there is tension in your eyes. Sense if you are forcibly closing your eyelids. Consciously relax your eyelids and feel the tension slide off the eyes.
• Feel your face and cheeks. Consciously relax them and feel the tension slide off into the bed.
• Mentally scan your body. If you find any place that is still tense, then consciously relax that place and let it sink into the bed.

Toe Tensing
This one may seem like a bit of a contradiction to the previous one, but by alternately tensing and relaxing your toes, you actually draw tension from the rest of the body. Try it!

1. Lie on your back, close your eyes.
2. Sense your toes.
3. Now pull all 10 toes back toward your face. Count to 10 slowly.
4. Now relax your toes.
5. Count to 10 slowly.
6. Now repeat the above cycle 10 times.

Deep Breathing
By concentrating on our breathing, deep breathing allows the rest of our body to relax itself. Deep breathing is a great way to relax the body and get everything into synchrony. Relaxation breathing is an important part of yoga and martial arts for this reason.

1. Lie on your back.
2. Slowly relax your body. You can use the progressive relaxation technique we described above.
3. Begin to inhale slowly through your nose if possible. Fill the lower part of your chest first, then the middle and top part of your chest and lungs. Be sure to do this slowly, over 8–10 seconds.
4. Hold your breath for a second or two.
5. Then quietly and easily relax and let the air out.
6. Wait a few seconds and repeat this cycle.
7. If you find yourself getting dizzy, then you are overdoing it. Slow down.
8. You can also imagine yourself in a peaceful situation such as on a warm, gentle ocean. Imagine that you rise on the gentle swells of the water as you inhale and sink down into the waves as you exhale.
9. You can continue this breathing technique for as long as you like until you fall asleep.

Guided Imagery
In this technique, the goal is to visualize yourself in a peaceful setting.

1. Lie on your back with your eyes closed.
2. Imagine yourself in a favorite, peaceful place. The place may be on a sunny beach with the ocean breezes caressing you, swinging in a hammock in the mountains or in your own backyard. Any place that you find peaceful and relaxing is OK.
3. Imagine you are there. See and feel your surroundings, hear the peaceful sounds, smell the flowers or the barbecue, fell the warmth of the sun and any other sensations that you find. Relax and enjoy it.
4. You can return to this place any night you need to. As you use this place more and more you will find it easier to fall asleep as this imagery becomes a sleep conditioner.
5. Some patients find it useful to visualize something boring. This may be a particularly boring teacher or lecturer, co-worker or friend.

Quiet Ears

1. Lie on your back with your eyes closed.
2. Place your hands behind your head. Make sure they are relaxed.
3. Place your thumbs in your ears so that you close the ear canal.
4. You will hear a high-pitched rushing sound. This is normal.
5. Listen to this sound for 10-15 minutes.
6. Then put your arms at your sides, actively relax them and go to sleep.

Mind Writing

I have so much in my mind that no one would care about I don't even know if it's worth writing down. But I’m going to anyway just because I am bored. That's a good reason to do anything. lol.

I have been having trouble sleeping. And when I say sleeping I mean the lack thereof. I decided at the start of the year that I was going to track my sleep pattern. What time I go to sleep and wake up and how many hours a night I get. I realized that I am so irregular. I never go to bed at the same time nor wake up at the same time. The most consistent I have ever been is that I go to sleep after midnight, after lying in bed for four hours, and then end up sleeping until after noon the next day. And you would think that nine to ten hours of sleep a day and I would be fine. But I toss and turn a lot during the night. I start out laying on my back and end up on my stomach in the morning. I am sore and I don't like it. Last night I knew I needed to do something drastic, and I was not tired at all, so I pulled an almost all-nighter. I did end up getting a nap in the morning. I am somewhat tired but I feel fine. I will probably regret it when I sleep through church and don't remember a thing tomorrow. Anyways, I don't know how to make my sleep go back to normal, if it ever was normal to begin with. Maybe I'll get some books and relaxation or something and trying to really relax my body before I go to sleep. I have a book that might help with that one. But I don't know why I toss and turn during the night. The other day while I was getting ready for the day I even had a thought that I should go to one of those sleep research places and see if they could figure something out. But I have no idea if that would even help. Still it might be interesting. Enough of this topic, let's see what else...

A few weeks ago my dad and brothers and I went on a bike ride. I am so out of shape I could hardly go up the hill. But in my defense that was a really long hill. Anyway, that wasn't the point. I want to exercise more. So yesterday we went on another bike ride, sans the father because he is away. It wasn't as bad last time but we didn't take the same route. I still got winded near the end going up a different hill but it was not as long the first one. Both times when we got back I was so stiff I could hardly get off the bike with out falling over.

I was thinking this morning that maybe I need a different kind of exercise. I was watching TV this morning, around 5:30 am, and a yoga class came on. There was nothing else on so I decided that I should try a few moves. And I mean a few, I did maybe three of four during the whole class. I felt like a fool standing in the middle of the room, in my jeans from yesterday no less, and doing, what did she call it, the dog down pose, and other simple but difficult poses. I don't even know what kind of yoga I was doing. Isn't there more than one type of yoga? This was a very mild type. I wish I could be that flexible. I definitely stayed near the beginner level because I can't pull my leg that far to my hips and be comfortable. Even though I never really did anything I did find myself in their state of mind, almost. I was breathing through my nose slowly like they were and I was relaxed. Most of the time though I was just sitting on the floor, Indian-style, and wondering how in the world they could bend like that. Plus the two males who were doing the more advanced moves were very cute and very fluid. I caught myself more than once wanting one of them in my living room helping me with my yoga, most of which I am pretty sure I never did right.

I have been looking for a job for a long time but I haven't found anything yet. It is kind of frustrating because I am in debt and can't get out because no money is coming in. And Dad keeps harping me about getting a job. Although, I must admit that's what I wanna hear. But that's just talk until you take me there. Um...no. Where was I? Something about a job...oh yeah. Although, I must admit (don't worry I won't break into song again) ever since I talked to my dad and told him how I feel about him looking out for me he has been less...less intrusive...no, wrong word, a little too harsh...well, he hasn't haggard me as often and hard about not having a job.

This a long post but not really interesting. Although, the breaking out into song was pretty cool. Which reminds me, it's Saturday! Showtune Saturday Nights is tonight. 7:00 to midnight. You gotta love showtunes! Oh and as for Project Blue, I have a great picture that is still on my camera. I'll pull it off and post it tomorrow. Maybe on the next project I can be more consistent. lol.

Blue #9 and #10

This blue project is fun. I just wish I could get to the Internet everyday and post. Then I wouldn't have to double up. That's okay though.

Happy Birthday to me!

Today is my birthday and I had a lot of fun. Really, I did. One doesn't turn twenty everyday!

I organized the toy closets. I should have taken a picture of before but I didn't even think about it. Trust me, they were a mess. Now I wonder how long they'll stay like this...

My brothers and I played with the train tracks.


We also played with the cardboard blocks. We built trap chairs and our friend sat in them. It was great fun. Brings back lots of memories of my childhood.

And as far as presents, I only got two things. A new mattress and sheets to go with it. It will be really nice not to wake up with back pain anymore. That old mattress was at least 25 years old. It was the mattress that my parents first had when then got married. This new one is really fluffy and nice. I am going to sleep well tonight. I wonder what I feel like in the morning. And with the money that my grandparent's gave me I am going to go buy William Joseph's new CD, Beyond. =)

Blue #8

I was outside today supervising yard work and taking pictures. I got some really cool shots. That one is my contribution for today's Project Blue.

Here are some more of my favorite photos of the day.

Blue #4, #5, #6, and #7

Well, I haven't been able to get to the Internet as often as I thought. I have been taking pictures with blue in them. Let me update you...

I painted my nails a few days ago and had a lot of fun. =)

Blue #1, #2 and #3

Anna Carson has issued a challenge: take a picture of something blue. It seems to be a lot of fun so I am going to see what I can do. I have to do three days worth of photos because I didn't find it until today but what the heck. Go here to see Anna's blog.